January 30, 2016

Descriptive Writing

You can hear the crowds roar, the stadium is alive and kicking, the opposing fans chanting and cheering. The stadium is huge and densely packed with people in heated arguments over nothing. The stewards are running around hopelessly trying to desperately keep the peace. And at this point, people continue to flood in like the violent rapids of a river, filling every seat possible and waiting with excitement and worry on their faces, the stadium was extremely tense.

You can see the suspense building on the fans faces as they begin to get agitated pushing and shoving. Then suddenly the entire stadium fell silent, you can hear the clang of the players boots against the concrete floor of the tunnel. At the first glimpse of the referee the entire 90,000 strong crowd of Wembley stadium erupted into chanting and screaming. England vs Argentina, a long held rivalry spanning over generations, since the days of Diego Maradona and Gary Lineker, but the winner of the match today they will be superior for the next year or so.

But as both teams stream out of the tunnel both have warm and comfortable looks on there face but you can see the hidden tension between the two rivals. The managers of each team staring deeply at each other with inquisitive face trying to work out the plan of the oppositions manager.As the managers settle, so do the crowd, the ball was placed on the centre spot and both captains stepped up.The referee held the coin and they both made their decision the got flipped up and span as if it was in slow motion it flipped and flipped and landed on heads.

The Argentinians stepped up to kick off, and the whistle blew and the ball was moved swiftly towards England’s goal, the ball is flowing between players uninterrupted by any of England’s defense as if they weren’t there.The ball in mid-flow is struck with immense power it curved toward the top left corner of England’s goal, the ball began to rise further pushing it just above the crossbar and off of the pitch.

The Argentinian crowd rose and fell with the movement of the ball but as this happened from the other side of the stadium an huge sigh of relief came from the fans, players and management. The panic began to set into the English players, and as the ball was kicked off again the Argentinians were putting on unrelenting pressure.

The ball hadn’t left England’s half by 45 minutes. The half-time break allowed both teams and sets of fans to relax and refuel, the England manager panicking and his stomach in knots pushed on to the dugout.

The game started England’s players seemed more comfortable than before they we playing flowing football, pass after pass flowing through, over and around the Argentinian defence, but shooting straight at the keeper, the crowd sat stunned, wide mouthed and in disbelief. Yet again England were on the ball in the in the centre of the pitch, and like an unstoppable power the Argentinian defender put in a crunching tackle in, the English crowd roared and wailed when the referee didn’t acknowledge the severity. With the England winger sprawled across the floor, the Argentinians burst through England defence as if the wasn’t there, they shoot and nothing short of a brick wall is going to stop that shot and it was 1 – 0. The English fans and bench are distraught with the undeserved goal in the dying embers of the match, with little hope hundreds of England fans left the stadium like a tsunami. 

They kicked off once more, the England again seeming unsettled, messing up simple passes and giving away needless fouls, they were set to lose, with limp arms and legs, as if they were lifeless and no push left they got the ball and strolled up the pitch in a simple straight line like a charge they forced their way through the midfield and suddenly another tackle by the Argentinian defence, the defender boot moved into the players lumbering legs, the leg snapped as if it were a glass as if it were a hammer going through a glass plain. But this time there was a result. 

The English, still disheartened, line up for the free kick, 25 yards out seemed like a mile, he lines up and the stadium falls silent, the whistle blows and the sound of grass rustling is the only sound for miles. The ball flew through the air straight, no curl, no spin as if it is not affected by anything, wind or gravity.

The ball flew high over the wall but suddenly dipped hugely, it’s carried on dropping, the goalkeeper was confident, he launched up with great power and stretched out as far as he could but not far enough it hit his fingers and shot upward and rattles against the bar and down across the line, the entire English team and fans erupted with great noise, heard for miles, it echoed and echoed.

Join the conversation! 1 Comment

  1. Hi Tom,

    This currently sits at 27/40 (C2). The next boundary – B3 – is at 31 marks.

    To improve, please address the following things:

    1) There are times when you focus more on narrative than description. In this piece of writing it’s more important to have strong description than narrative

    2) Here are some good examples of description in your piece:

    ‘And at this point, people continue to flood in like the violent rapids of a river, filling every seat possible’

    ‘Then suddenly the entire stadium fell silent, you can hear the clang of the players boots against the concrete floor of the tunnel’

    3) Your sentence structure is unclear at some points. Please change this!

    4) Consider using the present tense in certain places. This helps to bring the reader into the immediacy of the moment

    Mr O’B

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Communication